What does it mean to be a caregiver?

What does it mean to be a caregiver? 

Term 'caregiver' in itself is a word worth clarifying so we are clear on what we're talking about. There can be a lot of inferences and assumptions about and around different terms, and this is one of them. In my opinion, as a term, 'caregiver', has taken on some inferred meaning that is worth unpacking.

Merriam Webster defines the word caregiver as "a person who provides direct care (as for children, elderly persons, or the chronically ill).

On the surface, being a caregiver means you have taken on some level of responsibility for another to whom you provide direct care. As a parent, we are caregivers by design and by default.

As a term, caregiver is used frequently in the context of caring for someone who has special and unique needs or medical conditions perhaps beyond "regular" needs. I suspect there are many different ideas and views around this, and that's good. (The more ideas and views, the better.)

Looking at the definition of the word caregiver, fundamentally, there isn't some particular circumstance, set of needs, or severity of conditions that need to exist for you to be a caregiver. I see it as a spectrum and a person can be anywhere on it. In my experience, as life changed, and especially when our family learned of the rare neurological disease, I realized my caregiving role had changed. I had always been a caregiver, but had not conceptualized this or identified as strongly with the role until we gained awareness of this chronic, progressive condition and set of needs. 

Beneath the surface, there is so much to carefully examine and explore around caregiving. This is where I think we can stumble into "traps" in our own thinking about what it means to be a caregiver. For example, does being a caregiver mean you have to give up on or stop caring for yourself? Not at all. That thought illustrates the concept of binary, either/or thinking, which is so limiting and comes up so often. There are other ways we can understand the situation is both/and - I am a caregiver and I want to take care of myself. One doesn't have to be false for the other to be true. Both are true.

What this brings me to is the meaning that is not written into the dictionary definition or use of the term but I feel is so important to caregivers, and that is what being a caregiver means to you. 

Choose a way to gain more awareness around what it means to you. Write about it, have conversations about it, explore support groups, podcasts, organizations, any combination of these and more.